Monday, April 19, 2010
my boyfriend reminded me the other day - stop being insecure.
i have been somewhat anxious when mingling with kids.. it comes to a point where i would just sit beside them and adore them quietly, unable to form a bond with them.
years ago, one of my nephew, who was only around 3 by that time, started to ask questions about things. that time i realized kids ask the hardest questions - questions i never knew how to answer then, and until now. questions where i cannot give direct answers to. i know i'm not good at expressing myself, im always at a loss for words, im always short of vocabulary. i never knew however, that i would find myself troubled everytime i am with a child.
when i was in toowoomba about two weeks ago, i told my friend to please teach me how to baby talk. she laughed then afterwards asked, 'are you serious?'. one of my biggest concern is not being able to understand their language. sure, kids talk in babbles, and each toddler has his own lingo - i want to understand each of 'em. from my experience, it upsets most kids whenever they feel you don't listen to them - and that is the main reason why i wanted to hear them out.
this however will not account for the panic i have when i am with pre-lingual tots. for a fact, i know some parents want to talk to their kids as if they are already adults, not wanting to speak to them in baby lingo. that is why i prefer to just stare at them admiringly.
the other day, my boyfriend reminded me to stop being insecure. this was after he rang me while babysitting his nephew. knowing i was on speakerphone, i kept quiet and was near to tears as he was asking me to talk to a 6-month old baby.
and so while i tell myself that this is not insecurity, he insists it is.
my youngest sister sent me a text message - it seems everybody is already having babies. i told her i don't have one yet - to which she replied "meron ka na ngang college!". she's the only 'baby' i'm not worried to speak in the language of the bubs.
i have been somewhat anxious when mingling with kids.. it comes to a point where i would just sit beside them and adore them quietly, unable to form a bond with them.
years ago, one of my nephew, who was only around 3 by that time, started to ask questions about things. that time i realized kids ask the hardest questions - questions i never knew how to answer then, and until now. questions where i cannot give direct answers to. i know i'm not good at expressing myself, im always at a loss for words, im always short of vocabulary. i never knew however, that i would find myself troubled everytime i am with a child.
when i was in toowoomba about two weeks ago, i told my friend to please teach me how to baby talk. she laughed then afterwards asked, 'are you serious?'. one of my biggest concern is not being able to understand their language. sure, kids talk in babbles, and each toddler has his own lingo - i want to understand each of 'em. from my experience, it upsets most kids whenever they feel you don't listen to them - and that is the main reason why i wanted to hear them out.
this however will not account for the panic i have when i am with pre-lingual tots. for a fact, i know some parents want to talk to their kids as if they are already adults, not wanting to speak to them in baby lingo. that is why i prefer to just stare at them admiringly.
the other day, my boyfriend reminded me to stop being insecure. this was after he rang me while babysitting his nephew. knowing i was on speakerphone, i kept quiet and was near to tears as he was asking me to talk to a 6-month old baby.
and so while i tell myself that this is not insecurity, he insists it is.
my youngest sister sent me a text message - it seems everybody is already having babies. i told her i don't have one yet - to which she replied "meron ka na ngang college!". she's the only 'baby' i'm not worried to speak in the language of the bubs.
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